Picking a School for Our Child

Which daycare, preschool, nursery or kindergarten? Public or private? Montessori, Progressive, or traditional preschool? Questions I asked and answered while choosing the right preschool for my child.

When my son was about to turn three, I realized he needed more social interaction and explored sending him to preschool. I wanted to choose the best preschool, nursery or daycare--whether it was public or private, Montessori, Progressive or church-affiliated. I also wondered if I should home school until kindergarten. I asked some of my friends and neighbors, and I received overwhelmingly positive feedback on their children's preschool or daycare. This led me to believe that choosing the right daycare, preschool or kindergarten is a very personal decision, and everyone's opinion varies. I needed to identify our priorities, so I focused on what I really wanted in my child's first school and what would be a deal-breaker.

I read a very informative booklet published by the U.S. Department of Education that had a series of questions to ask ourselves and the elementary school. Some of the questions applied to nursery schools, preschools, daycares, and Montessories. This booklet reiterated that in reality, there was no "best school" only one that was the best fit for each child and his or her family.

Since I was open to the idea of relocating, my choices were varied and included 1) local public preschools, 2) public preschools in some other districts we were open to relocating, 3) private preschools, 4) daycares that followed a preschool-like curriculum, and 5) home schooling. I ruled out exclusive home schooling since we wanted social interaction for our child. Amongst the private schools, there were several affiliated with religious faiths, and others than were co-operative or Montessori.

Can we afford private preschool tuition? Annual tuition for private preschools in our area ran up to $19,000 for full day programs. While this was definitely cheaper than several Manhattan schools that charged $30,000-40,000, obviously my husband and I needed to prioritize our own retirement, our children's college education, etc. above private preschool and elementary school. Since school taxes were approximately half of our property taxes, sending a child to private preschool also meant not reaping the benefits of paying those property taxes.

We were not ready to make our decision based on finances alone. Some other questions I considered were:

* What is the demographic mix and will our child fit in?
* How long is the school day?
* Is after school care available?
* Does the preschool run through higher grades?
* What is the meals policy?
* How close is the school to our home?
* Do we have a preference for Montessori, Progressive Education or another special curriculum or philosophy?
* How involved do we have to be in school activities on a daily basis?
* Is there a preferential sibling admissions or tuition discounts?
* Will our child make the school age cut-off?
* What role should religion play?
* Do classrooms have computers?
* What is the discipline philosophy?
* What is the teacher to student ratio?
* Does the school offer special education, enrichment or advanced classes for children?
* Does the school have an honors or gifted and talented program for higher classes? * What does the school do to help develop character and citizenship?
* Where do graduates pursue their higher studies?

I narrowed the choices based on the answers to these questions. I attended Open Houses and toured a few preschools and met with both teachers and administrative staff. There are several public preschools in our city, and assignment was random (and varied from year to year). One of our key concerns was I could not meet the teacher of the class, and my child may have new classmates year to year.

In the end, I chose a private Montessori preschool that ran through kindergarten. What attracted us most to the preschool was that the curriculum was flexible to a certain extent, with the pace driven by the child's unique strengths and challenges. I also loved the mixed age (3-5 years) setting, which allowed my child to mentor younger children and learn from older ones. Although the Montessori method is not for all families, it was the right fit for ours.

Missing the School Age Cut Off: Good or Bad?

I am one of the many parents whose child misses the school age cut off for starting kindergarten in our local school district. While some parents are indifferent or even happy to wait another year before their kid starts school, some others, like me, would rather they be the youngest in their class. The other day, a friend and I were discussing our differences on this topic. She thought it was better for her child to be one of the oldest in her class. I worried that as other children just a couple of weeks older head off to school, my child may feel left behind and have to make new, younger friends. When she finally starts school, she might not find the curriculum challenging or interesting. Lastly, and perhaps quite importantly, I would have to delay working full time for an additional year as I care for my child.

Studies, including those by the National Assessment of Educational Progress (U.S. Department of Education) and Institute of Fiscal Studies (U.K.), have concluded that being one of the older children in the class can actually be an advantage, at least in the earlier years. Mathematically, a child who just turned three is 33% younger than a child who is a day short of her fourth birthday. That means if a child missed the cut-off and is entering pre-K3 close to his fourth birthday, he may be physically bigger and stronger. Similarly, the difference in age is 20% for a child who just turned five, versus one who is a day short of being six. An older child may also be more adept at socializing, managing his emotions, and focusing than younger classmates. As a result, an older child may have more confidence and do better at school.

In fact, one in ten kindergarteners were at or near the age of six in 2000, and this proportion has been rising. Studies, including one by National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), suggest that middle to higher income parents of boys are the ones most likely to delay their children's kindergarten entry.
So, is my friend, who is considering moving to another school district because her child barely makes the age cut off right? Does it make sense to delay entry into school even if your child does not miss the cut-off? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, "academic red-shirting" is not necessarily a winning strategy. Al though there is evidence that being among the youngest in a class may be an initial disadvantage, the age difference (on a percentage basis) drops to 10% for children entering fifth grade, and the average aptitude difference likewise reduces. On the other hand, there is evidence that children who are old for their grade are at greater risk of behavior problems when they reach adoles­cence.

My child is fairly young, so I will have some time deciding when she should start kindergarten school. My older child went to preschool, which have their own cut offs, so starting a preschool program at age three or four will allow me to monitor her physical, social and psychological aptitudes in comparison with her peers. When I believe my child is ready to go to preschool, thereare several alternatives, which I discuss in"What to Do when a Child Misses the School Age Cut Off" I am willing to consider.

Related article: What to Do when a Child Misses the School Age Cut Off
More from this contributor: Ease Your Child's Transition to Preschool Picking a Preschool for Our Child
Everyday Toiletries and Medicine Cabinet Essentials for Newborn Babies

What to Do when a Child Misses the School Age Cut Off

I am one of the parents whose child misses the school age cut off for starting kindergarten in our local school district. While there is a debate whether starting school as one of the oldest children is beneficial, which I discuss in the article "Missing the School Age Cut Off: Good or Bad?, I am considering alternatives that may help my child get the school or preschool experience, ifI believe my child is ready to catch the school bus, based on her physical, social and psychological aptitudes.

Schools with later deadlines: Several local private schools have cutoff dates that are later than that of the public school program.
Montessori schools: Many Montessori schools have toddler programs for children who are too young for nursery class. Since the Montessori philosophy allows for mixed age classes, children can attend the toddler program initially and then transition to the primary level, which allows children aged 3-nearly 6 to be in the same class.
Daycares: Most daycares accept students on a rolling or monthly basis. Several local daycares incorporate a curriculum that is likely not markedly different from an accredited preschool curriculum.
Homeschooling: Homeschooling young children, especially in a small group, could bring the benefits of social interaction and structured learning in an environment that is familiar to the children.
Drop-off and enrichment programs: My town has several drop off programs specifically designed for preschool readiness. Most programs run 1.5-2 .5 hours for 8-16 weeks, and they are available for one or more days a week. I can supplement drop-off programs with library story-time, sports, and art and craft classes.
Schools in other public school districts: Finally, if I am convinced of the benefits of my child starting kindergarten sooner rather than later, I would not rule out moving to another school district that has a later age cut off, say December 31. Although she would be the youngest quartile of her class, she will likely not be the youngest.
Perhaps, if I find it appropriate for my child to start school when the district deems it right, I will just follow along. Otherwise, my alternative strategies will come in handy for helping my child. However, as a mother, my goal right now is for my child to enjoy her childhood first, and then focus on programs to keep her stimulated and challenged.

Related topics: Missing the School Age Cut Off: Good or Bad?
More from this contributor: Ease Your Child's Transition to Preschool
Picking a Preschool for Our Child
Everyday Toiletries and Medicine Cabinet Essentials for Newborn Babies